not so simple questions

Puedes comprarme un helado? (Can you buy me an ice cream?)

That's what Javier asked Kelly and me today as we were sitting talking with him (in the hot sun).

A simple request, yes? But one that brings up a lot of issues in order to answer.

It only costs 2 quetzales, which is about 25 cents, begging the question, well, why not?

Why did we say no? Many reasons.

·There are 2 other boys we've been working with who are also nearby. If they see us buy Javier ice cream, they'll ask for some too. Then everytime we see them, they'll expect for us to buy them ice cream or something else.

·We are here to support German and Carla as they work here. It would not be good to set precedents which they cannot continue, which would leave the kids disappointed. They cannot buy the kids ice cream all the time so that is something we shouldn't do.

·The biggest reason for saying no for me seems somewhat harsh but necessary I think. All the boys do make money. But many of them spend what they do earn on glue and/or alcohol. Javier is one who smells like glue often. So we know that he is spending his money on that. I don't understand the reasons he does, don't understand the difficulty of addiction for him, but I do believe that simply buying treats for him is not the answer. I pray he will feel loved but also will realize that he needs to take responsibility for his life. He's 22! I pray that God will somehow bring him to a point where he desires to be healthy and take responsibility for his life more than he wants the high he's used to getting. I know it is very hard but I also know that it is possible. I know God can break addictions. And German and Carla have several school scholarships they are just waiting to give kids-- they have to be able to trust that the kids will actually go to school and stay clean. So if he could get free from his addictions, he would have hope for a different life. But he has to want it, yeah? And I don't think getting free ice cream would increase his desire for freedom from his addiction at all.

Porque vas a dejarnos? (Why are you going to leave us?)

That's what Valerio asked me as I was talking to him (just before the helado request). How do you answer that? What I said was that (in Spanish of course) ''we came to meet all of you and will not forget you.'' But, dang, that's hard. We came here a month ago and started meeting these kids who no one else in society cares about and now, just as we're getting to know them and they're getting more comfortable with us, we're going to leave. That was a question I had about this trip even before I came. It was something I wrestled with-- God, won't it just be worse for us to come, start to love them, and then leave them? Wouldn't it be better for them for us not to go at all? Will they remember us leaving them more than us being there? And you know, I don't have all the answers to that. I pray that we are planting seeds of love that will later be watered by others. I pray that the kids remember our love and not just how we left them. But in the midst of my prayers, I know that I don't know what will happen. All I know is that I know I was supposed to be here. And it is up to God to continue the work here, just as he was doing before we came. Even though we have to leave them, God will not leave them. Hmm, I shared Romans 8:38-39 this morning in our team devotional . . . and just thinking about how it might be good to share with them . . . yes, we have to leave, yes distance separates us. But nothing separates us from God. I don't know how they would take that. I don't know if they could understand that or if that would just make them mad. I don't know what their experience with God has been up until now. But I do know that that is true. God is not leaving Xela when the 5 of us do-- because He loves this city. He has called German and Carla here to show His love to the people here and he is calling others as well. It is true that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. I pray that God will send more and more workers to this city even as the 5 of us leave in a week and a half.

Juan and Francisco

Something we can buy for the kids is atol (like a thick corn soup). After the conversations with Javier and Valerio, Kelly and I walked by Juan and Francisco. I've mentioned Juan before, I think-- he looks down at the ground more than he looks at us. Francisco is a newer boy to Xela. He comes from the same town that Juan comes from. When we saw the two boys, we decided to ask them if they wanted to get atol, and they said yes. So we went and sat down at a nearby stand and had atol together. They taught us some of their native language of Quiche and we asked them about their families, school, the soccer team . . . found out that Juan goes to school on the weekends back in his home town. So he's a 13 year old kid, living in the city on his own during the week to make money for his family and then going home on weekends to go to school. He said his favorite subject is math and that he wants to get a job using math one day. So far I haven't seem him use glue or anything. I pray that he isn't and doesn't start! As we talked, he actually started looking at us more than he had. But he still looked down a lot. I looked down too, and saw his shoes that had holes in them-- completely falling apart, and his pants that were tearing near the ankles as well. The hat he wears doesn't stay closed anymore (it's one of those adjustable hats with velcro-- think the velcro just doesn't work anymore. Francisco has been very quiet and closed off to us, so we're trying to interact with him as much as he'll let us. He sat for about 5 minutes, talked a little with us, said thank you and then went back to work (at a cart selling CD's-- think he may do that in addition to shining shoes-- maybe different days). He is 12. My little sister is 12. Wow. Crazy to think about that.

Miguel

Sigh. Miguel is one of the first boys, er, young men, we met. I think he's 23 or somewhere around there. He actually has a job in a shop somewhere. And he doesn't sniff glue. And he seems very smart and respectful. German wants to give him one of the scholarships to go to school. But, the problem is that he drinks a lot. The first few weeks we were here, everytime we met him, he at least seemed sober. We heard that he would drink at night but never saw him do it. But then over the past week or so we haven't seen him as much, and then 2 days ago, Amelia and Melanie saw him in the afternoon and he was very drunk. It was very sad for them to see him like that. And sadder still that he's so pulled into alcohol. He has an opportunity to go to school, to do what he wants to do (he has said he wants to go to school!), but his addiction has a stronger hold on him than his desire for that opportunity. Sigh.

Oh Jesus, would you bring your power and set these young men free from these addictions, from these things that are wasting away their lives. They need your help.

Prayer requests

-Please pray for the older boys-- Javier, Valerio, and Miguel. For freedom from addiction, for desire to change, to see what opportunities they could have, for more knowledge of God's love and power in their lives.

-for the younger boys-- that they would not get into those drugs that at first may help them feel better but will take over their lives if they get addicted.

-for people on my team-- for continued hope and joy as we see situations that may not seem very hopeful & as we think about leaving, about coming home- it is hard thinking about leaving these boys here & it is going to be hard to go back home after having lived here for 6 weeks (reverse culture shock!). Please pray for God's help as we adjust to being back home.

-for German and Carla-- as they continue God's work here-- for encouragement, wisdom, open doors, patience, provision, protection, and joy

-for Melanie and Julio-- as they plan to come back here sometime within the next year-- for provision and guidance for them